Update.

This isn't relevant to what this blog was meant for but I needed to get this out since I really don't want anyone reading this.

 Tuesday me and Dakota were talking about sex. He had told me that he thought he's losing his libido. I told him I could change this since I knew I could. So Wednesday during lunch we went to my house and had sex and I really wanted to have sex with him. I had been thinking about it all morning and I was pretty damn stoked. It was pretty fucking awesome... It felt amazing...

Several hours later he told me that "we should go on a break". It startled the fuck out of me. I didn't know what to say to that. I felt this rush of sadness go over me and it was unbearable. This entire week I felt so amazing.

I didn't agree on going on a break. I didn't want to. I was happy. I felt good. I felt like everything was in place and I was excited to see how things would plan out after we graduate. I was wrong..

I told him I didn't agree. I didn't want to talk to him. It wasn't a break if I didn't agree. He was breaking up for me because he didn't feel right in our relationship or he didn't feel anything or he was confused or he didn't know what he wanted..

Thanks..

It was made official yesterday. He started smooching on me after school and told me he was sorry.. then it was made official that he wanted to go on a break. And after he told me that he didn't feel anything.. I figured that all that shit after school was a bunch of lies..

So much for thinking everything is fine when it really isn't. I can't help anybody unless they ask for my help. This was me and you. It was us. We were both in this together.. But you didn't tell me anything about what was going on with you..

I think this is it. This is my breaking point.